I am on my knees
seeking Your guidance please
The darkness I have felt and seen
and to the light I must cling
I am getting tired day by day
taking a breath, to You I pray
So confused, not sure where to go
what is Your will, I need to know
I miss him, but I have missed You more
the darkness holding me back, now my knees hit the floor
To You my heart is something I give
But without him I don't want to live
It this really a choice I have to make,
A word, an answer, on You I wait.
Help me to know, what to do
You come first, You are my glue
You are the one that holds me together
Without You things are not better
Thankful for Your strength
for I am so weak, I choose You first,
Your heart I seek
I release the rest into Your caring hands
My heart is Yours with no demands.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
I may be God's Princess, but sometimes I live in the Basement
A long time ago a friend told me the story of a basement princess. The princess who was named Violet was stolen from the King right after she was born. Her mother the Queen had died giving birth and while everyone was panicked and trying to save the Queen, an evil servant stole the baby girl. No one noticed until it was too late. The King was very sad and sorry in his loss, he sent out search parties, put up signs offering big rewards, but the small baby Violet was not to be found. But the story is about the princess that didn't know she was a princess.
The evil servant took the girl to the basement of the castle, where she secretly lived. The king was such a good and kindly king that he actually didn't use his dungeons and they were long forgotten. The servant didn't steal the girl for a ransomer or a reward. Her only purpose in stealing the baby was to make the King unhappy by taking what belonged to him. Long ago when they were old enough to know better and young enough to not remember the young King had publicly punished the servant girl when she tried to steal a prized amulet out of his room and he caught her at it and from that day forward she plotted revenge.
Now the queen had been quite beautiful and her beauty was known throughout the land and as the baby grew into a toddler and then into a young girl she looked so much like the queen that the servant knew if anyone saw her, she would instantly be recognized. So the evil servant would tell the small girl lies about how she was an abandoned baby and no one wanted her. She kept the name Violet for she told the young girl she was vile and evil and disgusting.. The servant always found fault with the young girl. She told her she was ugly, that she could do nothing right and was not worth anything. She cut off the young girls beautiful hair and never let her wash. She would tell the girl that she smelled like pigs and never ever to leave the basement because if she did, people would not be able to stand the sight of her and they would run in terror.
After 16 years of hearing this over and over again, the young girl believed the evil servant. By then she walked with her head down, her shoulders and back stooped over and she stopped washing her hair or apron because no matter what she did to try to please her mistress, fault was found. Soon she just stopped trying to do anything. Well this annoyed the evil servant. For while she was upstairs serving in the castle, she made the young princess clean and cook and do the washing for herself. Pretty soon the basement was a stinky, smelly, mess. Violet just gave up on life. She could see no purpose in her life. She was sad, depressed and lonely.
The evil servant thought and thought and came up with a plan. She realized that the princess was now a broken mess and no matter what the evil servant said the princess believed her. "well this could be good" thought the evil servant. So one day after coming down through all the secret tunnels and going through all 7 of the locked doors, the evil servant called out to Violet to come to her. She told Violet the truth about being a princess, but added enough lie to dilute the truth that it just crushed Violet more. The evil servant told Violet that she was a real princess. That she was the daughter of a King but when she was born and her mother the Queen died, the King banished the baby princess and said he never wanted to lay eyes on her again and the servant took Violet out of kindness and raised her there in her own home in the basement. The evil servant did not tell Violet that her father the King was living right above her. She did not tell Violet that she was stolen away, but rather that she was unwanted and unforgiven and a murderer for her lovely mother died while giving birth. Violet cried silent tears while the evil servant told her these lies and in her heart Violet started to hate the King. She became more grateful to the evil servant for saving her. Violet didn't know that she was a real princess and that all she had to do was walk up the stairs into the castle and the King would be so happy to welcome her home. Violet didn't understand that she would have had the best clothes, good food and would have been loved by all. For at 16 she resembled her mother a great deal. The evil servant had stopped cutting Violets hair after Violet had stopped washing it. So life in the basement went on for Violet. She took better care of the Evil servant and tried to keep the basement cleaner for her mistress. As for herself, she really didn't care. Her heart was broken in a million pieces.
After 18 years, the King had still not given up on his daughter. The evil servant that had taken her continued to work in the castle. She mostly worked in the kitchens, or laundry, always plotting on how to make the people around her miserable enough to hate working with her, but not quite crossing the line for she always did her share of her work, always was on time and had been there when the queen died and could tell the story in a most gruesome way that it put shivers down peoples backs. But no one ever begrudged her the story for she had been working at the castle a lot longer than many of them. She had some authority and no one wanted to make her mad. Every night the King prayed for her safe return. He knew she was out there somewhere. He knew she wasn't dead, or the kidnapper would not have taken a blanket and her pretty clothing. The entire kingdom had been searched from top to bottom. Every house, stable, store, entire villages for mile and miles. No one had thought of the basement.
A beautiful portrait of the Queen had been painted and it hung in the great room of the castle. Every day as the King walked past it, he thought of his daughter. He wondered what she was doing, where she was and if she knew who she truly was. He decided that now that the girl was 18, she should be searched for again and the Queens portrait should be used as a picture on the parchment flyer's. He sent them near and far and even to far away lands, but no one had heard of her or seen her. The evil servant found one of the parchments and was reading it, when she was climbing through the tunnels on her way home for the night. No chance the child shall see this, she thought and used her candle to light the parchment on fire and threw it to the side. But she didn't realize that many dungeons are damp and drafty and the fire went out.
One day soon after, the princess Violet was walking through the tunnels as she had on been forbidden on the stairs and always obeyed that the servant stopped locking all the 7 gates. Violet was taking some chamber pots to be washed in the furthermost dungeon away from their quarters, but closes to the stairs. On this day the evil servant was working in the laundry room and not in the kitchens. Well Violet tripped over a dead rat and screamed and dropped both chamber pots. It made an incredible noise and when Violet sat up and re lit her candle she saw a piece of paper on the floor and grabbed it. At the same time the kitchen mistress heard aloud crashing in basement and thought it was a ghost as no one had been down there in so long. But being a good and true mistress she grabbed her rolling pin and slowly opened the basement door. It opened quite easy. She thought she saw a flicker of light and by now triple scared, she started down the steps. Princess Violet heard someone coming and assuming it was her mistress who would be most displeased, blew out the light and hid.
The kitchen mistress was quite old and not used to such a lot of stairs..at the bottom she stopped and smelled the most horrible of smells..spilled chamber pots are quite messy. Violet shrank into her corner, sure that the strange lady was smelling her and was going to run in terror at any moment. Then the kitchen mistress bent over and picked up the paper that Violet had dropped. It was half burned, but the kitchen mistress knew what it was and as she was rather intelligent, she put 2 and 2 together immediately and called out "Princess Violet? Are you down here?" Violet didn't know what to think..she knew her father the king hated her and yet the voice sounded so kind and gentle. Finally after what seemed like hours but was only a few seconds, Violet sighed a soft sigh and said Yes I am down here. "Oh!" said the kitchen mistress, "I am so glad". "Why?" asked Violet, I am a murderer, and I am no good and everyone hates me." "Princess Violet, please come out of your corner, please walk with me up those stairs. That is where you belong. Your father is the King and he has been looking everywhere for you." Princess Violet didn't know what to think. After 18 years of abuse, and loneliness she thought she was too dirty and too smelly to walk up those stairs. The truth was she was dirty and smelly. But that didn't matter to the kitchen mistress who helped her go up step by step. Finally they got to the top and were in the kitchens. The princess looked around in wonder and said that the kitchen was bigger then their entire living quarters downstairs. She then told the kitchen mistress what the evil servant told her about her father not wanting her and how she lived down there day after day and how horrible and vile she was. She admitted she was ashamed to meet to her father for if she couldn't keep one of his servants happy how was she to keep him happy.? The kitchen mistress just hugged her and hugged her. And Violet started to cry. Tears of happiness. It was her first hug in 18 years and she just felt loved and accepted for the first time in her life. Finally she dried her eyes and it was time to meet her father the king. The kitchen mistress sent word to the King for an emergency audience and was granted immediate entry. She slowly walked with Princess Violet up to the throne where the king sat. Violet curtsied as the kitchen Mistress had and looked up. Her father was looking at her with such compassion and longing that Violet burst into tears and flew into her fathers arms. He didn't care if she was smelly, dirty, was wearing scraps for clothing, it was his Violet. His own Violet...When Violet told him where she had been and about the evil servant a search party was sent to the laundries,but the evil servant was never found. At first Violet grieved for the 18 years that had been stolen from her with her father, but her father the king taught her to rejoice that she was not found and they had eternity to be together. Violet had her bath and lovely clothes and good food and soon she was a favorite at the castle. She had her mother's looks and grace. She never forgot where she came from, and was often called "the basement princess" but she didn't dwell on it either. She had the rest of her life to live with the King and she made the most of it.
The evil servant was never found though rumors of her and troubles were always popping up. To this day, when you meet someone who is down, depressed, think they are worthless, chances are they have had an encounter with the evil servant. She wears many disquises and pretends to be a best friend, a sister, a brother, an employee, and a neighbor. Just remember where there is 99% truth and 1% lie, the evil servant has been there stirring up trouble for the King.
The evil servant took the girl to the basement of the castle, where she secretly lived. The king was such a good and kindly king that he actually didn't use his dungeons and they were long forgotten. The servant didn't steal the girl for a ransomer or a reward. Her only purpose in stealing the baby was to make the King unhappy by taking what belonged to him. Long ago when they were old enough to know better and young enough to not remember the young King had publicly punished the servant girl when she tried to steal a prized amulet out of his room and he caught her at it and from that day forward she plotted revenge.
Now the queen had been quite beautiful and her beauty was known throughout the land and as the baby grew into a toddler and then into a young girl she looked so much like the queen that the servant knew if anyone saw her, she would instantly be recognized. So the evil servant would tell the small girl lies about how she was an abandoned baby and no one wanted her. She kept the name Violet for she told the young girl she was vile and evil and disgusting.. The servant always found fault with the young girl. She told her she was ugly, that she could do nothing right and was not worth anything. She cut off the young girls beautiful hair and never let her wash. She would tell the girl that she smelled like pigs and never ever to leave the basement because if she did, people would not be able to stand the sight of her and they would run in terror.
After 16 years of hearing this over and over again, the young girl believed the evil servant. By then she walked with her head down, her shoulders and back stooped over and she stopped washing her hair or apron because no matter what she did to try to please her mistress, fault was found. Soon she just stopped trying to do anything. Well this annoyed the evil servant. For while she was upstairs serving in the castle, she made the young princess clean and cook and do the washing for herself. Pretty soon the basement was a stinky, smelly, mess. Violet just gave up on life. She could see no purpose in her life. She was sad, depressed and lonely.
The evil servant thought and thought and came up with a plan. She realized that the princess was now a broken mess and no matter what the evil servant said the princess believed her. "well this could be good" thought the evil servant. So one day after coming down through all the secret tunnels and going through all 7 of the locked doors, the evil servant called out to Violet to come to her. She told Violet the truth about being a princess, but added enough lie to dilute the truth that it just crushed Violet more. The evil servant told Violet that she was a real princess. That she was the daughter of a King but when she was born and her mother the Queen died, the King banished the baby princess and said he never wanted to lay eyes on her again and the servant took Violet out of kindness and raised her there in her own home in the basement. The evil servant did not tell Violet that her father the King was living right above her. She did not tell Violet that she was stolen away, but rather that she was unwanted and unforgiven and a murderer for her lovely mother died while giving birth. Violet cried silent tears while the evil servant told her these lies and in her heart Violet started to hate the King. She became more grateful to the evil servant for saving her. Violet didn't know that she was a real princess and that all she had to do was walk up the stairs into the castle and the King would be so happy to welcome her home. Violet didn't understand that she would have had the best clothes, good food and would have been loved by all. For at 16 she resembled her mother a great deal. The evil servant had stopped cutting Violets hair after Violet had stopped washing it. So life in the basement went on for Violet. She took better care of the Evil servant and tried to keep the basement cleaner for her mistress. As for herself, she really didn't care. Her heart was broken in a million pieces.
After 18 years, the King had still not given up on his daughter. The evil servant that had taken her continued to work in the castle. She mostly worked in the kitchens, or laundry, always plotting on how to make the people around her miserable enough to hate working with her, but not quite crossing the line for she always did her share of her work, always was on time and had been there when the queen died and could tell the story in a most gruesome way that it put shivers down peoples backs. But no one ever begrudged her the story for she had been working at the castle a lot longer than many of them. She had some authority and no one wanted to make her mad. Every night the King prayed for her safe return. He knew she was out there somewhere. He knew she wasn't dead, or the kidnapper would not have taken a blanket and her pretty clothing. The entire kingdom had been searched from top to bottom. Every house, stable, store, entire villages for mile and miles. No one had thought of the basement.
A beautiful portrait of the Queen had been painted and it hung in the great room of the castle. Every day as the King walked past it, he thought of his daughter. He wondered what she was doing, where she was and if she knew who she truly was. He decided that now that the girl was 18, she should be searched for again and the Queens portrait should be used as a picture on the parchment flyer's. He sent them near and far and even to far away lands, but no one had heard of her or seen her. The evil servant found one of the parchments and was reading it, when she was climbing through the tunnels on her way home for the night. No chance the child shall see this, she thought and used her candle to light the parchment on fire and threw it to the side. But she didn't realize that many dungeons are damp and drafty and the fire went out.
One day soon after, the princess Violet was walking through the tunnels as she had on been forbidden on the stairs and always obeyed that the servant stopped locking all the 7 gates. Violet was taking some chamber pots to be washed in the furthermost dungeon away from their quarters, but closes to the stairs. On this day the evil servant was working in the laundry room and not in the kitchens. Well Violet tripped over a dead rat and screamed and dropped both chamber pots. It made an incredible noise and when Violet sat up and re lit her candle she saw a piece of paper on the floor and grabbed it. At the same time the kitchen mistress heard aloud crashing in basement and thought it was a ghost as no one had been down there in so long. But being a good and true mistress she grabbed her rolling pin and slowly opened the basement door. It opened quite easy. She thought she saw a flicker of light and by now triple scared, she started down the steps. Princess Violet heard someone coming and assuming it was her mistress who would be most displeased, blew out the light and hid.
The kitchen mistress was quite old and not used to such a lot of stairs..at the bottom she stopped and smelled the most horrible of smells..spilled chamber pots are quite messy. Violet shrank into her corner, sure that the strange lady was smelling her and was going to run in terror at any moment. Then the kitchen mistress bent over and picked up the paper that Violet had dropped. It was half burned, but the kitchen mistress knew what it was and as she was rather intelligent, she put 2 and 2 together immediately and called out "Princess Violet? Are you down here?" Violet didn't know what to think..she knew her father the king hated her and yet the voice sounded so kind and gentle. Finally after what seemed like hours but was only a few seconds, Violet sighed a soft sigh and said Yes I am down here. "Oh!" said the kitchen mistress, "I am so glad". "Why?" asked Violet, I am a murderer, and I am no good and everyone hates me." "Princess Violet, please come out of your corner, please walk with me up those stairs. That is where you belong. Your father is the King and he has been looking everywhere for you." Princess Violet didn't know what to think. After 18 years of abuse, and loneliness she thought she was too dirty and too smelly to walk up those stairs. The truth was she was dirty and smelly. But that didn't matter to the kitchen mistress who helped her go up step by step. Finally they got to the top and were in the kitchens. The princess looked around in wonder and said that the kitchen was bigger then their entire living quarters downstairs. She then told the kitchen mistress what the evil servant told her about her father not wanting her and how she lived down there day after day and how horrible and vile she was. She admitted she was ashamed to meet to her father for if she couldn't keep one of his servants happy how was she to keep him happy.? The kitchen mistress just hugged her and hugged her. And Violet started to cry. Tears of happiness. It was her first hug in 18 years and she just felt loved and accepted for the first time in her life. Finally she dried her eyes and it was time to meet her father the king. The kitchen mistress sent word to the King for an emergency audience and was granted immediate entry. She slowly walked with Princess Violet up to the throne where the king sat. Violet curtsied as the kitchen Mistress had and looked up. Her father was looking at her with such compassion and longing that Violet burst into tears and flew into her fathers arms. He didn't care if she was smelly, dirty, was wearing scraps for clothing, it was his Violet. His own Violet...When Violet told him where she had been and about the evil servant a search party was sent to the laundries,but the evil servant was never found. At first Violet grieved for the 18 years that had been stolen from her with her father, but her father the king taught her to rejoice that she was not found and they had eternity to be together. Violet had her bath and lovely clothes and good food and soon she was a favorite at the castle. She had her mother's looks and grace. She never forgot where she came from, and was often called "the basement princess" but she didn't dwell on it either. She had the rest of her life to live with the King and she made the most of it.
The evil servant was never found though rumors of her and troubles were always popping up. To this day, when you meet someone who is down, depressed, think they are worthless, chances are they have had an encounter with the evil servant. She wears many disquises and pretends to be a best friend, a sister, a brother, an employee, and a neighbor. Just remember where there is 99% truth and 1% lie, the evil servant has been there stirring up trouble for the King.
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